Reading a few of the comments and thinking a little more about my experiences with D (please see the previous post first if You / you have not read it) i would like to add a few thoughts.
Given all the frustration, struggle and turmoil i went through with D do i regret the experience?
Absolutely not!
As i stated at the end of the previous post even after a year i did not want Her any less. i still found Her as irresistible, inscrutable, intimidating and mind-bending as ever. She occupied my thoughts every day. Even today i still think about Her though i have not seen Her in years.
What did i learn from the experience?
Oh so much!
For the first time i really understood and felt a Woman’s power over me. Certainly in past relationships i played the naturally submissive role but with D, for the first time, i experienced something utterly new and a little frightening. Here was a Women who seemed able to completely read my thoughts and emotions, who challenged everything i said to Her and accepted no compromises, no nonsense. my desires and needs were of no concern to Her. All that mattered were Her needs, Her desires and Her happiness. For Her, males existed for only two real purposes, Her pleasure or amusement and to make Her life easier. If a male did neither or managing Her relationship with him was too much bother then he was gone. There was always another ready and willing to take his place.
It was always clear to me that my thoughts and opinions on most matters were of no concern to Her. Being in Her presence was a privilege and an honour, “boys should be seen and not heard, unless I ask for your opinion” was Her way of playfully putting it.
She was the first Women i remember feeling truly intimidated by. Not physically, of course, but psychologically and intellectually. She could make me flinch just with a sharp cold glance or a stinging verbal rebuke. i could never challenge Her in any effective way, She always seemed to be thinking and speaking several steps ahead of my thoughts, leaving me speechless. Even, on occasion, if i managed to get a word in edge wise She would just cut me off putting me back in quiet mode instantly.
i felt instinctively, deeply submissive towards Her.
And it was amazing and wonderful!
What was Her lasting impact on me?
i always knew i was submissive towards Females but it was D who was the first who truly put me in my proper place and as much as i struggled with that i also loved it and loved Her for treating me that way.
As much as She could hurt me She also made me a complete person who understood fully, for the first time, what made me happy.
In so many ways my life can be divided into two eras, Before D and after D, and i have been far more successful and happy in my post-D relationships. That owes much to what D taught me and allowed me to discover within myself.
For that i thank You, beautiful Goddess, wherever You are.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-17907534
ReplyDeleteInteresting link SH.
DeleteMr. EJ,
ReplyDeleteBTW, it is truly an amazing feeling to have a women exert authority over me. When my wife does, I can tell my heart rate quickens and my breath becomes a little erratic sometimes. Somehow, I feel it is a connection to my primitive sexual system. It is a very difficult thing to put into words, but something I find I not only enjoy immensely, but something I find I seek to feel on a daily, if not hourly basis.
-SH
I understand what you went through Mr. EJ. My first experience dating a dominate woman was soon after college. A powerful older woman named Deanna took me on as one of her pet projects/boyfriend. I was very green and needed a lot of work in order to be a proper submissive male. She had to administered quite a few punishments (some of them quite harsh) but she was also loving and patient with me, which I needed.
ReplyDeleteWhat was frustrating to me at the time was even though she consider me her boyfriend, I often played second fiddle to her other subjects and even a few other gentlemen she saw. There were many times I ask permission to take her out or just spend time with her and Deanna would say no. Often, she tell me about her other dates and subjects (though she never gave any personal information about them). This both angier me and hurt me very much. I was brand new to a FLR and didn't quite understand why she was doing it (now I do). It also turn on me greatly as I realized she didn't need me at all like I needed her.
We wound up dating for almost a year before she broke up with me due to being transferred for work. I wanted to try a long distance relationship but she wanted none of it even though Deanna did tell me she loved me. After that, I tried a few "vanilla relationships" with a couple great girls. But none of it worked. I decided that I was either going to be in a FLR where the woman controlled and dominated or I was going to be single. It took me quite awhile to find Beth but when I did, it was beyond anything I ever expected.
Cheers!
- Mr. Beth
Thanks for sharing that Mr. Beth. i suspect there are many guys who have gone through a similar 'trial by fire' and have emerged as far better for it.
ReplyDelete