The Undereducated Male

Happy Easter Everyone

i will be back to blogging after the holiday!

The Aggressive Modern Female, a personal anecdote

 

One thing I've noticed in my dating experience and from watching the interactions of men and Women around me is that many of today's Women seem to have lost any sense of being intimidated by men. When they see one they want they don't seem to hesitate in going after him. They may seem  a little cautious at first when feeling out what a guy is about, just to make sure he's of sufficient quality. Once they determine he's what they want however They show an intense aggression in going after him.

From my own experience i hardly knew my current Girlfriend apart from seeing Her around a few times but out of the blue She called me up and asked me out. We dated a few times and really hit it off though from those early dates i could not be entirely certain of Her dominant nature, just that She was not shy or reserved.

Finally one evening i came home from work and checked my answering machine, She had called and left a message the gist of which was "I want you". Actually that is a direct quote from the message, She told me to call Her back which i promptly did. She said She wanted me to come over to Her place. i certainly felt intense pressure to decide if i wanted to be in a relationship with Her but nevertheless off i went to Her house. Upon arrival She suggested we go for a walk. It was a cold winter night as we walked and talked She slowly opened me up to Her emotionally with a series of personal questions which She had avoided previously. Clearly She was making Her final decision as well. As we walked down a narrow snow covered path in the woods i felt Her grab my arm from behind and pull me back. She stared directly into my eyes and said simply, "I'm going to kiss you". And She did.  It was one of those electric moments, and one where i got my first real glimpse of what a confident Women She is. Here alone in the woods at night with a guy She was only beginning to get to know She displayed total control of the situation and was able to be the sexual aggressor. i felt almost instantly submissive towards Her, and it filled me with a warm feeling despite the fact i was shriving from the cold (or was it nervousness). i wanted Her aggression! Badly!

We made our way back to Her house and before i knew it we were in Her bedroom, on the bed, making out. She got my shirt off quickly. Without me even noticing She retrieved a scarf from  somewhere. As we kissed passionately She grabbed my wrists and pushed them together over my head and up against the end of the bed. She then proceeded to bind my wrists to the bed with the scarf. i offered no resistance allowing Her to tie me up. She seemed to notice my submission and looked into my eyes and gave me a teasing, wicked grin. "Got you" She said softly."Yeah, you do" i had to admit,"and i don't mind" i smiled back. With my wrists bound She ran Her hand down over my chest and to the front of my pants, which was by then swollen from excitement. i really could not hide how much She was turning me on and She could feel it for Herself. We continued to kiss while She stroked the front of my pants for some time until She decided that was enough for our first make-out session. She had firmly demonstrated Her power and my submission to it. i was left feeling frustrated, excited, exhausted, exhilarated and willing to do anything for Her.

That set the pattern for our relationship ever since. She quickly realized that i yield easily to Her aggressiveness which only seems to fuel Her aggression and my excitement.

One other activity that we soon established was showering together but even that had a ritual in it for Her. She enjoys stripping me. She will approach me seductively, kissing me deeply as She pulls off my shirt, then undoes my belt, unbuttons my pants, letting them drop to the floor. i step out of them and She will stand in front of me, placing one hand in each side of my underwear, usually as She gently mocks my by now rampant erection (i often sport a nice wet spot of precum on the over stretched fabric by this time also, giving Her another little detail to tease mercilessly). She will then work my underwear down slowly over and past my erection. The feeling as it springs free of the fabric is intense and amazing, made all the more so by the wicked, teasing, lip-licking She does as it comes free. She then lets my underwear fall freely to the floor, looks directly into my eyes as She places Her hand around my throbbing cock and turns without letting go. She then marches down the hallway pulling me by my erect manhood behind Her as i dutifully keep in step due to Her tight grip on my 'handle", as She likes to call it. She then directs me to get the shower or bath ready as She undresses behind me.

i experience such an amazing feeling of being objectified by this little ritual of Hers. It is one of the most erotically charged experiences of my life. I had never before known how much i love being naked before a beautiful clothed Women, the feelings of inequality/humiliation drive me mad (in the best possible way) and and i feel totally under Her spell and control and She loves having me that way!

As do i, boy, do i ever!

Saturday

Goddess is at the office putting in some extra hours on a project today. i have my list of chores to work through. Laundry, washing dishes, cleaning the bathroom. Ah the glamorous life of the male submissive.

i wouldn't have it any other way!

Funny Friday Image

Maybe it's just me but this cartoon makes me think of certain things

ALPHA-FEMALE beta-male: A Good man Is Hard To Find?

In keeping with the recent surge of mainstream articles on the growing trend of Female breadwinners this commentary appeared in the past few days. i present it in its entirety followed by a few thoughts of my own.

What if women don’t need guys any more?
By MARGARET WENTE From Saturday’s Globe and Mail
In this new world of economic opportunity, female breadwinners are flourishing. Unfortunately, many men aren’t
Magdalena Hinojosa, a striking-looking single woman, is a senior associate vice-president at the University of Texas. She’s learned that her job makes men uneasy. So when they ask her what she does, she simply tells them she works at the university, in the admissions office. “You have to hide who you are, at the beginning, until that person is comfortable with you,” she says.
Liza Mundy, author of the just-published book The Richer Sex, met Ms. Hinojosa and a lot of other women like her. There’s Sami, the software engineer who tells men she’s a music teacher. There’s the young lawyer and her colleagues who tell men they work as hairstylists when they go out on the town. They have a lot more fun that way.
These are just some of the intricate sexual politics of a world in which women are rapidly becoming the major breadwinners. The statistics are arresting. Women in America now earn almost half the family income, and more than half in lower-income families. Forty per cent of wives now outearn their husbands. And the gender gap is closing fast. The median income of young, unmarried urban women in their 20s is now higher than the men’s.
Education is a major reason why. Women, especially minority women, are pursuing higher education at much greater rates than men. They’re primed for work in the knowledge economy, which is where most of the new jobs will be. “College is built for the female brain,” anthropologist Helen Fisher told Ms. Mundy. “What do you do in college? You sit. You read. You write and you talk.” Over the past 30 years, women’s earnings have been growing while men’s earnings have stagnated.
Meantime, as women’s attachment to the work force grows, men’s attachment has been shrinking. By 2006, even before the job losses of the Great Recession, just 66 per cent of men of prime working age (25 to 64) were employed full-time, down from 80 per cent in 1970.
Where did all those working men go? It’s not that the jobs dried up - their desire to work did. Older blue-collar men who’ve been laid off are often reluctant to take jobs they think are beneath them. Even men with higher education are less interested in work. Researchers have found that many non-working men spend much of their free time in “leisure activities and sleep.” Non-working women, by contrast, spend much of their free time in child care and housework.
   
Today, a lot of younger women simply don’t need guys any more. Guys can even be a liability. The New York Times reported last month that, in the U.S., having children outside of marriage is the new normal. More than half of births to American women under 30 now occur outside marriage. One mother, Amber Strader, 27, told the Times she was in an on-and-off relationship when she got pregnant. Marrying her boyfriend, a clerk at Sears, never entered her mind. “It was like living with another kid.”
If illegitimacy has lost its stigma, so has being out of work. Men who failed to provide for their families used to be known as “bums” and “deadbeats.” Now they’re just slackers.
The Richer Sex assembles plenty of evidence that, as women’s ambition is on the rise, men’s ambition is shrinking. Younger women are more focused and achievement-oriented than younger men. They have realistic career goals. Many younger men have no idea what they want to do or be. Younger women in the work force are eager for more responsibility. Younger men aren’t; they’re happy just to get by.
Women are flourishing in this new world. But many men aren’t. Men have always defined themselves as providers - it’s the main source of their identity. What happens when they aren’t needed as providers any more? What happens when their sense of purpose is lost? The answer is, they become unmoored. They stop being adults. “I’m kind of losing hope in men,” one high-achieving woman told Ms. Mundy. “My husband and his friends, they just love being bachelors - they love to hang around and smoke pot.”
As usual, men and women at the top of the socio-economic ladder have it easier. Their education levels are more equal, and it’s they who’ve benefited the most from the big incomes that wives can earn. But even the most affluent, educated people have fairly traditional hopes about their future mates. Women still want someone to look up to, someone who can pull his weight. Men are thrilled to marry women they regard as equals. But women who are far more successful than they are can make them feel demoralized and inadequate.
Has women’s success come at the expense of men? I’m not about to argue that. Society is better off because women have far more opportunity and can make more contributions to the world. Millions of men are proud of their accomplished wives, and proud to be devoted fathers. Gender roles are far more flexible than we ever thought, and people are capable of creative arrangements that benefit everyone. But the world has shifted beneath our feet, in ways we don’t yet fully understand. It’s going to take some time to work things out. Meantime, women such as Magdalena Hinojosa still find it hard to get a date.
Firstly, the column does a nice job of setting up the current situation and providing some statistics and examples which nicely illustrate this rapidly growing trend. i think that it is both true and a bit sad that these Women have to sell their own success short to avoid putting off a prospective male. i can however see that it is true that many men are quite intimidated by strong, successful Women. After all it can be difficult enough not to be intimidated by Women's beauty and sexual power let alone adding Her striking intelligence and financial independence to the mix. i would not say that guys are necessarily put off Women's success and intelligence just that that many will be intimidated by that. The whole mix puts males at a distinct disadvantage though i would argue that perhaps the Women don’t fully realize just how many Males would actually find all this Female power quite exciting. Also i think again that many guys want to be with successful women but when they meet Them there may be issues of self-confidence and intimidation at play.

On the following points in the article i will certainly concede that there seems to be an ambition gap between Females and males today. The Girls seem to have a laser-like focus on hitting all the milestones needed to build a successful career and life. Many males are indeed finding that their traditional strengths, mainly physical, are not so much in less demand as they are less valued financially. It also seems clear to me that closing that gap is not merely a matter of convincing boys to stay in school. As education test scores seem to be demonstrating, the Girls are simply better at most of the tasks valued in the modern job market (communication and organizational skills for example). If those differences are biological, and i believe they most likely are, then males will be at a permanent disadvantage in the modern economy. males, it would seem are unable to earn their desired income levels in traditional jobs while hitting the limits of their abilities in competing with Females in the faster growing and more lucrative segments of the economy. This i feel goes some way to explaining the ambition gap. i feel that one obvious solution to this is for males to simply accept their secondary roles in relationships with Females. Being in a relationship where he is providing support for Her is in fact quite a meaningful and satisfying life, as i know from personal experience. It is only right though, that Women demand a lot from their men. Today's successful Alpha-Females should demand no less than a mate who puts his full energy into satisfying Her needs (domestically,socially, emotionally, sexually etc) and helping Her to fulfill Her ambitions. i don’t see any reason Women should have put up with ‘slackers’ nor do i see a lot of evidence that Women are tolerant of males natural inclinations in this direction. males who step up by stepping back, i believe, are they very prototype of the happy, successful men of today and tomorrow.

The author asks if Women’s success has come at the expense of men but backs away from giving an opinion. i won’t let it slip though. i think it is clear that Women’s success has come at the expense of men and i feel that this is for the best. Society as a whole will be better off for it.

Are we males supposed to be jealous, hurt and angry because Women are out-competing us?

Should we feel this way because Females are simply demonstrating their superiority?

Women are superior! Lets just acknowledge that and celebrate it.

Celebrating Her Success: Post Script

Just a note on my previous post. In celebration of Her promotion my Girlfriend informed me that She and two of Her Girlfriends will be having an Girls-only weekend in New York City in May. i spent the past couple of days helping them make arrangements. Looks like it will be a blast. No boys allowed, and no, i am not concerned about what They get up to on Their weekend. The Girl's business is just that, Their business and none of mine.

Celebrating Her Success

i am part of a growing trend it seems

The Present and the Future

As i mentioned at the beginning of this blog i am in a long term relationship with my own personal Goddess. She is amazingly smart, successful, ambitious, beautiful, and yes, dominant. As i mentioned previously She was earning about 25% more than me in Her career than i was in mine and i expected Her to widen that gap with a pending promotion. Well last week right on time She received a promotion into a more senior management position with a commensurate bump in salary to the point that She will be earning 50% more than me from now on. How do i feel about this? Well just great actually! i can't think of anyone more deserving of success. You/you may be wondering if my ego is feeling a bit bruised after this but the answer is an emphatic no. She has always been the leader in our relationship and i knew from early on that She viewed Women as more competent, capable and intelligent than men. She has always had strong Feminist (Female Supremacist really) beliefs and has never been shy about sharing Her opinions with me. She has always expected me to fall into line behind Her leadership and doing so has given me a life filled with purpose and contentment. Yes, She can be quite demanding at times but i always feel i am made to be a better person by following Her direction. Of course just because i am overjoyed with Her success doesn't mean that She hasn't taken the news as an opportunity to tease me just a little. She has taken to calling Herself my "sugar-momma" (even in front of our friends) and pointing out that She is earning so much now that i don't even have to work anymore for us to live very comfortably (a hint i wonder?). She does enjoy playfully humiliating me at times, probably because She knows how much that triggers my submissive feelings towards Her.  

Something we both enjoy the benefits of.

FemSupreme Music Videos : Physical By Olivia Newton John

My next video up for discussion. i am writing up my thoughts, in the meantime enjoy the video.

Yet another 80’s video, in this case very early, is Olivia Newton Johns “Physical”. The song lyrics themselves are pretty obvious but for the video the director decided to go with a mix of beefcake and humor. I guess the FemSupreme angle on this video comes from Newton John’s role as a fitness instructor whipping these guys into shape, pushing them to do all kinds of physical exertion in the name of making them atheistically appealing. My favorite bit is of course how the newly transformed males are presented as displaying their newly developed assets for Her as She eyes them up and down and feels their newly muscular contours. The g-strings the  guys are wearing are a nice touch as well, displaying their tight butts and a nice protruding bulge at the front that leaves little to the imagination in terms of their package size. It's this simple, raw sexualization of males that makes this a hot (if campy) FemSupreme music video and worthy of being on the list.

From the wikipedia “The provocative lyrics of the title track prompted two Utah radio stations to ban the single from their playlists.[32] (In 2010, Billboard magazine ranked this as the most popular single ever about sex.)[33] To counter its overtly suggestive tone, Newton-John filmed an exercise-themed video that turned the song into an aerobics anthem and made headbands a fashion accessory outside the gym”

Anklet Anecdote

Speaking of anklets i was reminded of a co-worker i had about 10 years ago named Karen. She was a cute, short-haired blond with long legs who had no problem getting my attention on any day. However one particularly hot summer day She arrived at work in cute denim shorts and, what caught my gaze almost instantly, a delicate gold anklet on Her right leg. It nearly took my breath away so that even 10 years on i remember that day almost photographically. Just the site of that little chain hanging around Her beautiful, delicate ankle stirred up the some of the deepest submissive feelings i have ever had. i found myself taking furtive glances down towards Her foot all day long. Towards the end of the day we were working together sitting side by side and i think i spent the whole time staring down at her foot as She crossed Her legs and dangled it almost in front of me. i have no idea if She was doing this on purpose or had any insight into just what a profound effect She was having on me but it was all i could do to avert my gaze. 

Anklets are amazing things. 

They draw a males gaze down the length of a Woman's leg towards Her foot, forcing him to almost unconsciously bow his head in deference to Her. i think that if Karen had asked me to drop to my knees right there and kiss Her foot i would have had my lips upon Her before She had even finished Her request. 

Sigh...

P.S. the blond in the photo i chose to illustrate the ball busting article below is an almost doppelgänger version of Karen. i think that's one reason i like that particular image so much.

Ball Busting : What to Make of it?

One of the most popular Femdom acts among males is one that would be least likely to be expected, ball busting. A quick web search can turn up an almost countless variety of videos and images of this topic. It typically consists of a male being ordered by a Superior Female to strip and ‘assume the position’, hands behind his back or behind his head, legs spread wide. Typically the Female will then, often after some teasingly fake kicks, strike like a viper  hard against the balls and or cock. The male is then seen crying out, bending over in pain, or if the kick is particularly precise, falling to his hands and knees before his Feminine tormentor, gasping in pain. In other cases ball busting can consist of the Female grabbing the males ball sac firmly in Her hand and giving it a harsh squeeze and/or pull. Again causing the hapless male excruciating pain. Sometimes She will grab his manhood tightly, possessively, and give it a hard smack with Her hand or a riding crop, with predictable results. In other cases the Female will simply crush his maleness beneath her beautiful feet (as illustrated). Why on earth would so many males crave an activity which on the male pain scale goes all the way to 11 (to infinity and beyond!!)? Think about it. Among males hitting below the belt is almost universally considered off limits and socially unacceptable.

i think therefore that it has everything to do with the males deep craving for submission to the Feminine. What more elemental form can this submission take than to surrender the literal essence of his manhood to Her? To offer it up as a form of sacrifice, accepting that it is Her Divine right to punish and control that which is male, to make it suffer for Her, to accept Her punishment and judgement for its sins. What is so striking, i think, is that males, in accepting ball busting, so completely submit to Her.  No real resistance is offered, they strip away their clothing, remove their hands and legs from providing any protection. All of this is completely voluntary, usually the males are not even restrained, they simply submit and expose themselves to Her wrath. Their manhood's are crushed by Her blows, they suffer, then pull themselves up upon Her command and accept the next round, continuing until She is satisfied with their level of submission, suffering and humiliation. And don’t discount just how humiliating an activity this is. The male is literally saying to the Female, 'my very essence as a male belongs to You, You control me'. All pretense of free will is surrendered. It is also in this deep humiliation that the male actually derives great pleasure in a almost perverse way. That which humiliates him and makes him suffer only fuels his desire to submit to Her Will, Her Control, Her Judgement and Her Beauty.

i am also struck by a few other thoughts here. The male anatomy of course makes ball busting easy. In a way it could be argued that balls tilt the advantage to the Female. Despite the males typical size and strength advantage it is as if he has an override switch in the form of his exposed, freely swinging ball sac which the Female can simply smack to knock down any undesirable behavior. A swift kick or slap sends any hulking  male collapsing at Her feet, immobilized in pain. i also find it interesting that the typical gesture of a male upon receiving such a blow is to bow forward and/or fall to his hands and knees, prostrated towards She who struck him. i think Mother Nature is sending a not so subtle message there. Not only can Women control males with Feminine beauty and superior intelligence but nature has even given them another tool to use against the male. his very maleness! Her deadly combination of Beauty and Smarts coupled with the always implied threat of simple, agonizing pain give Women all they need to channel the males physical strength and energy for Her greater purposes.

his tool is, in reality, Her tool.

Yet another expression of Girl Power

Rough Saturday Night

One of the toughest things about being in a relationship with a hard-charging, successful dominant Women is that She expects my very best work at all times, no matter what. This past Saturday night we were having one of our regular intimate weekend evenings, i was quite enjoying myself, giving Her a full body message and bringing Her to Her first climax of the evening when She pulled away from me suddenly, which is never a good thing. She bored into my eyes with Her beautiful Browns and said simply, “ I don’t think your giving this your 100% effort” She then proceeded to give me one of Her dreaded interrogations wherein She asks a pointed question and stares into my soul, without saying a word, waiting for what seems like an eternity for an answer that satisfies. i always feel like a deer in headlights during these times. She wants, no demands, complete emotional surrender and won’t accept any response until She determines i am not holding anything back. I never feel so naked (both physically and emotionally) as i do during Her interrogations.

The truthful answer is that She was, of course, right. i really was struggling to give myself 100% to Her. With warm spring weather in the air She decided that it was time for spring cleaning as well. So I spent the day washing windows, vacuuming, doing laundry and generally running around at a frenetic pace just keeping up with Her latest demands. So i was simply bushed as we retired to the bedroom that evening.

I don’t like to admit that i can’t keep up with my duties but after the integration was forced to admit my limits. She understood and let me continue pleasing Her some more before saying that was enough for tonight, we can continue in the morning.