Anecdotes in Humiliation

One regular couples activity enjoyed by Goddess are our weekly Q & A sessions wherein Goddess asks the questions and i, Her humble male, provide answers no matter how personal or embarrassing. A typical session will occur after I have served the evening meal and taken care of clearing the table and cleaning up the kitchen. i will provide Goddess with a glass of wine (on my errands i pick up  new wines to sample each week) and She will retire to the living room to relax in Her favorite chair. I will start up the stereo with some gentle ambient music to create a relaxed mood. I then have 30 minutes to complete my kitchen duties following which i am to remove any clothing and present myself on my knees at the foot of Her chair. i will refill Her glass as needed, She will take a sip, travel the length of my body with Her eyes and the questions will commence.

These sessions have a few clear rules and rituals which must be followed including

• I must appear promptly at the 30 minute mark, kneeling and nude at Her feet as She lounges comfortably in Her favorite chair

• Her wine glass must never be allowed to become empty.

• All questions must be answered without hesitation and with full honesty.

• Goddess is the sole arbitrator of truth or lies. If She decides that She doesn’t fully believe i am telling the truth She will simply state ‘position’ and i am to turn around, bow my head to the floor with my hands on the carpet beside my head while raising my exposed ass to Her.  i will then be the recipient of an arbitrary number of strokes from Her favorite crop or short whip. There is no pleading and no appeal of this verdict. If Goddess is not satisfied with an answer that’s that. i will assume the ‘position’ without question.

• If the wine selection is not to Her satisfaction i will be ordered to assume the position and receive an appropriate number of strokes.

With these formalities out of the way the session will commence. This past week Goddess decided She would like to probe some events from my past and learn what these events reveal about Her pet.

In the glow of the Christmas tree She begins;

G: ethan I’d like you to share with me your earliest memories of being truly humiliated by a Girl or Women. Describe one of these events for me.

e: well Goddess, I’m reminded of an an incident that occurred in about the eighth grade i think. I was walking home from a friends house on a spring evening when I first heard then saw three Girls from my school talking on the other side of the street. i recognized one as a Girl named Darlene. She was truly something special even at that age. I remember Her luscious red lips, long dark hair down to the small of Her back and curvy ass. i mean 'wow', all the boys in school were completely mad for Her. She was one of those crazy hot girls that guys like me are terrified to even talk to but secretly fantasize about. As i got closer to this group i kept my head down hoping to pass unnoticed.

G: Why unnoticed ?

e: i don’t know i guess because Girl's made me nervous in general and Darlene especially so...

G: So you’ve always been intimidated by Women’s beauty?

e; absolutely yes Goddess

Not a bad likeness of Darlene. Not bad at all

G : do you know where these feelings came from?

e: no just that I’ve always felt this way. It seems perfectly natural for men to be intimidated by Women. i think it’s just a part of the male psyche so to speak.

G : I agree, go on.

e : well as I got closer i heard Darlene ask one of the other Girls if She 'remembered the name of that guy’ meaning me i guessed. i remember my heart started racing then i heard it. “Hey ethan, could you come over here?” I froze in my tracks. I was mortified yet excited and fascinated. I couldn’t think of any reason to not answer the Siren song.

G: so you went over?

e: yes

G: and

e: well the other two Girls started to giggle and Darlene smiled as I approached. i suddenly had a bad feeling about this. I stopped about five feet from the Girls when Darlene asked me a question.

At this point Goddess was smiling as well

G: Go on

e: well She asked me if i “liked sucking cock because I heard that you did. So do you like sucking cock ethan?” At this point even Darlene couldn’t hold back the laughter. my ears filled with a cacophony of feminine laughter. i turned red, not from anger, but from humiliation. I tried to muster a strong denial but was so flustered and pushed off balance that all i could reply was a weak ‘no...no way’. Darlene and the other girls acted like they refused to believe me. She said “well a good friend of mine said it’s true and I trust Her completely so it must be true, you’re lying”.

I felt like i was sinking in quicksand and every struggle against this just got me in deeper. i can’t remember what i said in response but by now the others had joined in and i was out numbered three to one so i just tried to beat a retreat hoping to salvage some minimal dignity. As i walked quickly with rapid fire catcall’s following behind me ‘hey ethan what does cock taste like?’, ‘how big was he?’, did you spit or swallow’ followed by mocking laughter as i raced out of distance. 

i don’t even remember getting home, just racing to my room and shutting the door.

G : how did that make you feel?

e: i was completely devastated, humiliated beyond belief. i thought maybe these Girls wanted to get to know me. Maybe they found me interesting. Instead they just wanted to crush my fragile ego for a laugh at my expense. I was beyond hurt. i couldn’t figure out why that picked on me. Was i just in the wrong place at the wrong time or was i specifically targeted? Were people really spreading these rumours about me? Why?

G: So you were angry and hurt. Is that all?

e: well no. Even more so i felt so powerless. i just couldn’t muster any kind of defense against these hot Girls.

G: Wait a sec. ‘Hot Girls’?. Your were attracted to them even though they put you through hell?

e: hum well yes. In fact as i lay on my bed nursing my emotional wounds i kept thinking about the incident in my mind,  picturing Darlene mocking me and well i just got hard. Really hard. Dripping cock hard.

G: Don’t tell my you jerked off while fantasizing about Her.

e: yeah i most certainly did. As i was coming down from my orgasm i felt more crushing humiliation amplified by the post orgasmic 'little death'. At the time i was too immature to understand my reactions and certainly not able to understand why i actually liked it so much, even more than i hated it. i was so indoctrinated with all that alpha-male bullshit that i just couldn't square the circle. i guess i knew deep down that all that dominant male nonsense withered away around Girls. Today i fully understand that male's might be bigger and stronger but any pretense of male's being dominant melts away when a Women asserts Herself. There's nothing that male's find hotter than bowing down to kiss a Women's foot both literally and figuratively.

G : Women find that hot as well I might add. So looking back why to you think you reacted that way?

e: That’s easier to admit and understand now. i’ve always been submissive towards Women so when a Women asserts any kind of dominance over me i’m really turned on and become deeply submissive at the same time. It makes total sense to me now. At the time i was afraid to admit that or had no way to express it anyway.

G: That seems about right. What about Darlene? Why do you think She acted that way?

e: Honestly i think She fully understood the impact Her looks and attitude had on boy's. i mean how could She not notice? i think She enjoyed the power and looked for ways to put boy's in a weaker position relative to Her and exploit them for fun and other personal benefits.

G : I suspect that’s right and naturally so.

e: absolutely

G: So did you have any other encounters with Her?

e: actually yes. Over the next few weeks the same sort of scene was acted out again with me getting catcalled a few more times which did really damage my school yard reputation as even guys would join in. i suspect they were trying to make some connection with Darlene as well and trying to be seen as allied with Her. Not that She cared I’m sure. Then about a month later I was coming out of school a bit late when i saw Her leaving at he same time. Only this time Her posse was not around.

She called out to me ‘hi ethan come here”. i steadied myself for more abuse but strangely, ok not so strangely, i obliged Her command.

Expecting the worst i was shocked when She simply said “these books are too heavy would you mind carrying them home for me?" as She simultaneously dropped them in my arms. I was so confused and excited what could i do but follow Her home carrying Her books. The walk was a blur i don’t remember much about it except at the end we reached the door to Her house which She opened, turned around, gave me an electric smile, took the books and closed the door. She didn’t even say ‘thank you” but i didn’t care. i was bewildered but thrilled beyond belief. Yes i knew i was being used but i didn’t care and i liked it. i was so thrilled just to have a chance to be around Her.

G: (laughing) Sounds like She had you wrapped around Her pretty little finger.

e: Eventually  some of the boys started referring to me as “Darlene’s bitch”. That had a nice ring to it.

G: Nice! Thanks for sharing My little bitch.

e: Thank You Goddess!

This conversation was transcribed from a video recording of our session.